To whom this may concern:
It was brought to my attention that you are rummaging around the internet, scouting for viral creators. After scrutinizing your company’s website, I measure, you are not soliciting the garden variety virologist. If you need someone to spawn submicroscopic, parasitic particles of genetic material contained in a protein coat, I can be of utility.
I too aspire to someday be amongst a squad of binary wizards. Until then. Thank you.